Are We There Yet?

The Drama Continues

My daycare dilemma is solved and I feel confident that we have found someone great.  After a few quick visits, I dropped Ives off for her first day yesterday and she didn't even bat an eye as I walked away. She is the only girl amongst four little boys and apparently they are smitten with her.  What's not to love!!!

Although I feel great about our new home, I am dealing with some garbage from the last. Here are the details of the situation and then I'll tell you where I take issue.

-We were given two weeks notice of her shutting her doors, but we were expected to give a months notice or lose our money.

-When we signed our contract she wanted a ten month commitment from us, and in that 10 months she was to take one week of vacation (paid).

-Last week, the week that she quit, she informed me that this week I would have to pick Ivy up at 4:30 not 5 because she had swimming lessons with her boys.  Her hours are 7-5.  Plus last Thursday, she shut her doors at noon, only telling us the day before.

-The list goes on as far as me keeping Ivy home when she(Jasmine) was sick, numerous early pick ups putting us in a pinch, and times when her MIL would watch the kids for an hour here or there so that she could go to appointments.

I feel like I was more than accommodating on more than one occasion, always kind, and never demanding.

Now here's what's happening. She gave me two and a half weeks notice last Wednesday (Aug.3rd) and Ivy continued there for the remainder of that week while I frantically tried to solve the problem. On Saturday morning (Aug.6th) I called her and told her that Ivy would not be returning on the 8th, but that I was sad about it. Unfortunately, I would lose this spot if I didn't take it immediately. I set up a time to come get all of Ivy's supplies which was last night after work. When I got there we made small talk and then I asked what we were going to do about the cheque for the month of August that she had cashed ($700). She said that she would refund the last 8 days of the month, but she was open till the 19th so she was keeping my money (as if Ives was there) until that date. So technically, there is $300 in question. I know it's not that much money, but where I take issue is that she just took her week of holidays and then quit on me the very next day. So really, it is $450 (or 3 weeks) that she won't have Ivy. Plus, I feel like if you expect a month out of me, then I expect a month out of you.

An even longer story short is that it got ugly between the two of us last night. At first she told me that she doesn't have to start her new job until a week later, so she is extending her notice date by a week (I don't think so). Then she told me that if I wanted a month notice, she's telling me now and that she'll start her job later (BS). Plus she told me that she didn't have to give me any notice if she didn't want to, which really pissed me off.  I did use some choice words that I regret today, but honestly, I'm pretty ticked. The kicker was that she wouldn't let me see the contract that I signed for her. I demanded that she have a copy of it for me after work today. I'm sending my hubby there to deal with it.  I wanted her to meet me in the middle.  I'll pay you for one more week that Ivy will not be attending, and you refund me the rest.  She said NO.

Believe me, I can walk away from the $300 without shedding a tear, but she is fully screwing me and that's what makes me mad. Where do you stand on this situation?  Maybe I'm being the crazy one.

Moral Dilemma

Last night I was relaxing on the couch watching a really intense show-The Real Housewives of Orange County- with the windows wide open. All of a sudden I heard this insane yelling. I muted the tv and like a nosy neighbor, turned out the lights and peaked out from behind the blinds. At first I couldn't tell which house it was coming from, but it didn't take long to figure it out. We live in a pretty calm, safe neighborhood where we see a bit of vandalism from time to time, but not much else. The people that live directly across the street from us have never been any trouble although Jared can't stand that the guy parks his eyesore of a work van in front of our house everyday. I have said hi to them a handful of times and introduced myself when they moved in a few years ago. Without being judgemental (which I am being), they do look a little rough around the edges.  They clearly like to drink, smoke, and party and they both have kids from multiple partners ranging in age. Last night confirmed our thoughts. 

He was screaming at the top of his lungs so that the entire neighborhood could hear. People opened their doors and emerged from their houses in order to see what was going on. We're not sure if it was directed at his wife or her teenage daughter, but it was bad. Such words as bitch, slut, whore, and c%#$ were used and it only got worse. To say we were shocked is an understatement. The screaming went on for about ten minutes until the daughter emerged and b-lined it towards the park crying her eyes out. The mom quickly appeared and ran as fast as she could barefoot in order to catch her.  She caught up with her at the mailboxes only to tackle her to the ground and force her to go back to the house with her. Everything was quiet upon their return. 

From the moment it started, Jared and I went back and forth on what we should do. Before I tell you what we decided, I want to know what you would do if you were in our shoes. Would you call the police or mind your own business?

I'll tell you tomorrow what our choice was.

Just Sick

My heart breaks when my little girl is under the weather.  I would trade places with her in a second if it meant she was back to her happy little self. She has a high fever and is so hot to the touch.  Her big blue eyes are glassy and filled with tears, and the only place she wants to be is in her mamas arms. I haven't cuddled with her like this since she started walking, unfortunately, the circumstances aren't great.

Thank goodness for Grandma Judy who got the 6:30am wake up call this morning to come baby sit for the day. She quickly cleared her schedule so Ives could stay in the comfort of her own home. I hate when you have to call in the big favors, but I know one day it'll be me getting those phone calls and I'll drop everything as well. Jar managed to come home a few hours early so I could stay at work instead of missing my 6th day. Thanks again Judy- we appreciate it more than you know.

I was looking so forward to this weekend being that it is the big "1" and all. Hopefully a good night sleep, that dose of Advil, and a lot of TLC will do the trick.  I find it incredibly hard to know when a trip to the doctor is in order. I don't want to run at the sign of any ailment, yet I would be sick if I didn't take her and I should have. Do you have a general rule of thumb for taking your kids in or is it just a matter of following your instincts?

 

The End of an Era

 

My not so little boy heads off to grade one in September, which means our final days at Debbie‘s, our childcare provider for nearly seven years, are counting down.  The final drop off is something I have thought about with a lump in my throat a number of times over the past couple of years.  The thought of pulling out of the driveway for the final time, something I have done over two thousand times, is hard to imagine.   I am filled with mixed emotions, as is Nate, as our time there draws to an end.  Our family has been blessed beyond words to have had our children go to Debbie & Ray’s since Sarah was eleven months old.

Like Sarah did when she left two years ago, Nate is creating a farewell book(using something like this) for Debbie, filled with his thoughts and memories and illustrations on each page.  He and I have enjoyed reminiscing about the many years he has spent there and he is bursting and so proud to share his creation with everyone on Thursday.

Debbie is caring, kind, amazing with kids and has a great sense of humour.  The kids respect her so much and they know that what Debbie says… goes.  Her husband Ray is adored by all.  Everyone loves him for his funny, silly ways and the jokes and nicknames he shares with each child.  The rapport Ray has with kids is incredible.

 This amazing couple has opened their home to a great number of children over the years and they run a daycare like no other.  As a family childcare centre it is the home to 12 children each day...a perfect number.  Debbie and Ray have transformed their home to service “their kids”.  There are playrooms on each level and toys in abundance.  Tiny chairs fill their living room, and booster seats in the kitchen.  They have fire doors and fire escapes installed throughout; along with close circuit TV’s  to monitor the basement and the area where the littlest ones nap. 

Debbie cuts no corners and spares no expense.  The kids eat healthy meals filled with fun and adventurous foods.  They do crafts, play games and go on long walks along the creek, even in the rain.  They visit the bakery for cookies, and Seven Eleven for slurpees.  They play in the sprinkler in the summer and sled in the winter. They collect treasures, create works of art and celebrate every occasion.  Birthdays are highly anticipated at Debbie’s, as are special holidays; marked with gifts, fancy meals, games and tons more fun.

But more important than all of that is the atmosphere or feeling at Debbie’s.  The kids are like family.  I always marvel watching their closeness and their unique bonds when they are together at birthday parties or playdates.  The sense of community they develop being a part of something as special as Debbie’s daycare is amazing to watch and so beneficial to them all.  We are so lucky that our kids have grown up there with some of their closest friends, by chance children of many of our dearest friends.  The bonds and memories shared will last all of us a lifetime. 

Working alongside Debbie is her partner, Joyce.  Joyce is sweet and kind and good.  Her gentle ways and loving nature make her the perfect childcare provider.  She is compassionate, perceptive and often offers sound insight or advice.  She always has a funny anecdote or heart-warming story to share about the kids.   She honours children’s individuality and celebrates their successes.  Joyce is also an extremely well rounded and interesting person.  I will so miss the great conversations she and I have always shared about education, books, health and children.   

Debbie employs a third staff member to work with the kids on a daily basis.  In turn, each of them; Kristin, Nikki and Melissa has added a youthful energy and fun loving attitude that the kids so appreciate and enjoy.  They have all gotten to know our kids so well and have continued to be a part of our lives through evening babysitting, house-sitting and even cat sitting.  They are amazing young women!

Debbie’s is legendary in our area.  She has a waiting list miles long and is sought out by many.  Over the years I have had a number of people ask me, “How did you ever get in?”  Luck?  Chance?  Timing?  I am not sure why my family was fortunate enough to have landed spots at Debbie’s daycare but I am eternally thankful that we did. 

Working mom guilt is something I have at times struggled with as many moms’ do.  It is hard to be away from our little ones particularly when they are sad or sick or not themselves.  I am blessed to have rest assured each and every time I drove to work that my children could not have been in better hands. I never once doubted the quality of care my children received.  They were always treated with respect and offered unlimited patience, guidance, instruction, affection and kindness.  I can only begin to imagine the depth of what my children have learned and taken away from Debbie’s and what a positive impact their experiences there have had on the wonderful little people they are today.

A couple of weeks back as I shopped around for my final end of the year Debbie thank you gift- I was stumped.  Debbie is a practical person but the typical garden ornament or gift card just didn’t feel right.  In the end I bought her a Willow Tree …the Angel of Caring. 

Debbie has truly been an angel in our lives. 

Debbie, thank you for opening your home and your heart and being our angel of caring for so many years! 

 

Change is Good

“Change always comes bearing gifts.”  ~Price Pritchett

 Although June is in many ways  a time for wrapping things up; a springboard of sorts into the much anticipated summer, for some  kids it is also unsettling.  There is a fear of the unknown ...new classrooms, new teachers, new classmates and for some kids even a new school.  All of this  can leave some kids feeling uneasy as they look ahead to the Fall.

As a teacher myself I am not sure I ever quite understood the importance and impact all of that had on kids until I was a parent.  After seeing my own kids, in past years, go through some worry around whether they will be with one of their “special friends” or who their next  teacher may be, I realize just how much some little people think about these things. Some kids barely give it a passing thought, while others, or some of us moms, can’t help but jump ahead in our minds.

When teachers and administrators make up classroom lists in June they consider a load of variables; academics, behavioural concerns, gender, personalities, and the list goes on.  This year in my own school building I made a point of reaffirming the importance of trying to place kids with at least one of their friends and to really look out for our less assertive children.  I feel it is so important for all kids to have the best shot possible when starting a new school year and that we make a point of setting them up for success.

As Sarah heads into Grade 3 next year I know she is all set.  She seems to have no concerns about  any of it and with a great number of  little girlfriends she could end up with and two great teachers as options...what could be better?   As Nate moves into Grade 1 in the Fall, I know we may have some adjusting to do.  That tends to happen to boys in grade 1.  They spend their first two months wondering when “play time” is and getting used to the increased amount of actual sitting that they have to do.  I know he will do great once the shock wears off!

As parents we just want the best for our kids.  We are their biggest fans, but also their biggest critics.  We are their shoulder to cry on, their sounding board and their target when times are tough.  We are also their unwavering support and their advocate when need be.  Change is good  but for some kids it is tough. 

How do your kids adjust to the change? 

One thing to keep in mind is that kids are so resilient and in the end things usually have a way of working out!

Eleven more days.

 

Cash Bar

**Just to add to Mollie's post, Ivy had found her way into her and Chad's bathroom and was attempting to get into the bathtub. Oh how times have changed, it used to be me panicking about her kids, now it's her panicking about mine!!**

Jared and I are attending a wedding this weekend with a cash bar. Whenever this situation arises, we always discuss "the number" with other friends that are attending the event so that we can all give the same amount. While we don't want to look cheap, we also don't think you should give the same amount you would give if it was an open bar.

What do think the going rate for presentation is when it is a cash bar?

I Second That

Another weekend come and gone.....I feel the same way as my sis minus the two extra kids. I don't know if it's the weather changing, this lingering cold I've had for weeks, or the long list of "to do's" around our house, but I second the feeling of exhaustion.

Do you ever look at other people and wonder if they actually have it all together or if they're just better at pretending they do? I am terrible at organizing and efficiently using my time. On most days I choose coffee and the remote while Ivy is napping instead of taking advantage of the uninterrupted time to accomplish tasks that continuously hang over my head. What really gets me is that then I bitch to anyone that will listen(most days my sister) about how I have ZERO time in my life. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond busy with chasing, moving, and watching this little monkey like a hawk, but I find it so hard to get motivated when I do have a moment of downtime.

Every weekend in April is full of weddings, socials, and dinners. Like my sis, I believe it is important to be social and have a good group of friends, but it all comes back to balance. I'm finding that being at home is often harder than being out, but when we are out, I long for our home. How do we win? I look at other people and wonder how they find the time to take on big household projects or work on their own hobbies. I don't even have a hobby!! The sad part of my rant today (which I apologize for) is that I only have one babe and on top of that, I'm on mat leave. The only person that can change these poor organizational habits is myself, so today I'll add it to my long list of things to do.

If you have some good tips or suggestions, please feel free to help the mom's who DO need the help?

AAAWWWW...I feel much better!!

Phew!

And in a blink we begin a new chapter!  Our family is moved in, settled in and almost completely unpacked just two short days after our big move.  Needless to say the past number of days has been a whirlwind and I am completely and utterly exhausted, but with only 4 more boxes left to unpack and 3 more days of work, I am looking ahead to an enjoyable and relaxing week off. 

 Yes, I could have taken my time and spent my Spring Break unpacking but that is not the way I roll.  I want my time off with the kids to be all about the kids and having fun.  That is until I head off with the other Mums for a 3 day jaunt to the States for some shopping and girl time….can’t wait!

Our move went down without a hiccup and our new house is everything we thought it would be and then some.  We are so thrilled to be here and enjoy every minute of getting to know every inch and squeak of this place that so instantly felt like home.   I look forward to sharing countless precious moments and building a lifetime of memories, as a family in our new place.

“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams” Anonymous  

 

What is it?

What is it about birthdays that end in 0 that make us go crazy? In the past few weeks I have had the opportunity to talk to a handful of friends who are all, along with myself, turning 30 in the weeks and months ahead. Surprisingly enough, every single one of us has had some level of stress over the big day. While we should be celebrating this milestone, we would all prefer to let it go past without so much as a mention.

When digging a little deeper into the anxiety of it, most of them (again, me included) look at the things that we haven't yet accomplished rather than the things that we have. Every conversation somehow ends up with the sentence, “By the time I was 30, I was supposed to have (fill in the blank)." I too look back at the way I thought my life would be when I finally arrived here and wish some things were different. I always knew that I would be married with at least one baby, but I also thought that I would have the fabulous career to go along with it. That great career is still a work in progress along with some other "minor" details of what was supposed to be. Other people I know have the great career, but they are either still looking for Mr. Right or struggling with the addition of children.

I know to a lot of you, turning 30 would be gladly relived. I also know that to some of you 30 seems like a million miles away. Leaving my 20’s next week is a little sad but also really exciting. There is still lots of time to accomplish the goals that I have and to get the things that I want. At the end of it all, it's really just another day!!

How did you feel about turning 30?

Empowerment?

I love to see my kids learn something new and the pride they have in sharing it.  Sarah is pretty computer savy and knows her way around the web and many programs.  I have shown her many things over the last few years but her new found love of Powerpoint and all its bells and whistles comes from school.  She has created a number of slideshows all of her own now decked out with transitions, animations and sound effects.  Here is her latest creation:

Download My Cats

As a teacher of technology, I see firsthand, on a daily basis how quickly kids pick up on things of a technological nature.  My little grade ones at school have all completed their own Photostory 3 this year, grinning from ear to ear with pride at the finished movie.  Kids are truly sponges when it comes to computers and such things.

I LOVE teaching kids about technology and watching them embrace and run with it.  Technology surrounds us.  We now live in a world where emailing, texting and instant messaging have become far more common than having an actual conversation on the phone.  How we do we prepare our little ones for the now technology driven world we live in?  How do we keep them safe?  Where do we find the balance between keeping them current vs. protecting their childhood? 

Smartphones, Ipads, Skype, Mp3 players, laptops, GPS, E-readers, interactive white boards…where will it end and at what cost?